Only in Canada: A ban on starter pistols?

Today's hot link comes to us from my colleague at the Toronto Star, David Grossman.

Apparently there's a growing movement among high school sports officials to ban the use of starter pistols at track meets.

Seriously.

A group of officials and school board types say that starter pistols are dangerous because they symbolize violence.

Yes, somehow the symbolic violence of a starter pistol is more damaging to our youth than the actual violence of sports like wrestling, football and the state religion in Canada -- hockey.

And somehow the symbolic danger of a gun with no bullets is more real than the actual danger of semi-trained teenagers throwing javelins (an event derived from throwing spears -- ban it!), putting shots (also known as "cannon balls" -- Ban It!) and pole vaulting (which was how ancient warriors leaped over the walls surrounding cities -- BAN IT, PLEASE!).

Since we're so concerned about the destructive effects of symbolic violence, we should also ban basketball (all that "shooting), baseball (all those hits and runs... don't people know that's a felony?), and history class (much too much talk about war).

Sprinters await the sound of the whistle at the 1988 Olympics.

In place of starter pistols some folks are suggesting track meets switch to buzzers or whistles, but I've got a better idea.

Simon Says.

Simon Says "take your marks."

Eight sprinters settle into the blocks.

Simon Says "Set."

Eight bodies uncoil part way, poised to explode down the track at the next command.

GO!

Three sprinters burst from the blocks...

HEY! I didn't say "Simon Says!" Lanes 2, 3 and 7 are all disqualified!

Look, Linford. I didn't say "Simon Says."

Makes sense to me.

It's probably time we re-thought this whole track meet thing, from the starter pistol to the finish line.

After all, we shouldn't rewards kids at a track meet simply because they can run fast.


Our youth need to learn just as real violence should never trump symbolic danger, the race shouldn't go to the swiftest or best prepared, but to the one who follows asinine rules.

Contreras y Ramirez -- What didn't make the paper...

You wouldn't know it by checking this blog lately, but I'm still covering baseball at the Star, working toward becoming the world's greatest, walking 'round the planet earth making money and having fun.

Latest stop, Chicago, where I covered the Jays/Sox series and interviewed Chicago's Cuban twosome, Jose Contreras and Alexei Ramirez about the recent warming of relations between the U.S. and Cuba.

Upset at his team's performance in the World Baseball Classic, Fidel begins training for a comeback...

Now that you've read the story, here's the story behind it:

Although both men are optimistic that they might one day reunite with relatives back home, neither feels comfortable returning to the island as long as one of the Castro brothers runs it. Yes, the U.S. now allows Cuban emigrants to travel to the island freely, but Contreras explained as far as the political establishment is concerned, guys like him -- high profile athletes who defect for big money contracts in the U.S. -- aren't just emigrants.

They're traitors.

So until Cuba has a ruler more sympathetic to guys who leave the island to chase their dreams, Contreras says he'll continue living in the U.S., seeing his relatives when they receive special clearance to travel to the Dominican Republic, and pining for a return to his island.

Those are pretty important details, and I'm sure you're wondering why they're missing from the story. There might be an explanation that makes sense, but for now we'll have to blame a newspaper industry that still doesn't know how to interact with the Internet.

The story I filed was a little too long for the space reserved for it in the newspaper, so a few paragraphs had to go. I get that. But why those paragraphs couldn't run online, where space isn't restricted, is a mystery I still haven't solved.

A little further behind the story....

If you've been following this blog (and I know some of you were before I went AWOL), then sabes que yo he estado practicando mi espanol. Todavia no es perfecto pero esta mejorando un poco cada dia.

Still, that doesn't qualify me to interview guys like Contreras and Ramirez en espanol, so a day before sitting down with them I enlisted White Sox media relations staffer Lou Hernandez to translate.

Understand that I don't always need the help. Jays shortstop Marco Scutaro, for example, is a good sport. He lets me practice my Spanish on him in interviews and I usually understand about half of what he's telling me. And earlier this month I started interviewing Tigers slugger Magglio Ordonez when I heard his halting English and stopped him short.

"Si estas mas comodo hablando en espanol," I told him. "Podemos hacer la entrevista en espanol."

He sighed in relief and we moved on.

So while we waited for the translator I chatted with Contreras en espanol, and learned that he loves Toronto -- especially Babaluu -- but hates the cold weather up here.

I told him I felt his pain.

He and Ramirez were also intrigued that I've actually been to Cuba, and when I showed Contreras the Cuban tourist money I still carry in my wallet he explained proudly to a disbelieving Dominican teammate that the money is worth as much as U.S. cash.

While talking with Contreras I got to use one of my favourite Spanish words: Aunque.

Translation: "Even though."

As in, "Aunque Canada es mi pais, Chicago es mi ciudad."

And interviewing Ramirez allowed me my first ever opportunity to use a phrase I've been eager to drop in conversation: Vale la pena.

Translation: Is it worth the sorrow/heartache/trouble.

Like Contreras, Ramirez talked a lot about the difficulty of leaving relatives behind in Cuba, so I asked him si "vale la pena estar aqui?"

For the record, he said si, vale la pena because he's living an entire family's dream by playing in the majors.

Anyway, as my former AfAm studies professor Charles Payne used to say, I said all that to say this:

I'm glad I made the effort to learn more Spanish over the winter and I'll be back in the classroom as soon as time and my budget allow it.

After Ramirez finished his interview Hernandez told me he had never spoken so freely to a reporter since coming to the White Sox last season.

Now it might have been simply that he was in a talking mood that afternoon. He might have been just as talkative with any of the other reporters who stalk locker rooms before and after games looking to scavenge a quote or two.

But I'm betting I'm the first mainstream reporter to ask him in (halfway decent) Spanish how he felt about the political situation back home. And I know I'm the first person to interview him who has also seen Manolito Simonet in concert.

Pretty sure that scored some points too.