Ready to Barack

PART ONE: A PROMO


Stayed away from the office today to celebrated Martin Luther King Day, and I know what some of you are already thinking:

That's not a Canadian holiday, Morg. How did you manage to get out of working?

Well, no, it's not a statutory holiday north of the border, but as a card-carrying Afro-Ameri-Canadian I reserve the right to honour it anywhere on the planet. It's an even easier call in multicultural Canada, where immigrants like my parents, and first-generation citizens like myself, are encouraged to celebrate the culture of the old country rather than conform to the customs of the new one.

Doesn't mean I celebrate every U.S. holiday.

You'll see me at the office on President's Day and Memorial Day and the fourth of July.

But MLK day, which speaks directly to me and the nation (as distinct from the country) from which I descend, is a mandatory celebration every year.

So I stayed away from the office today, but if you think I wasn't working you don't know me.

Like just about everyone else on the continent I spent today preparing for Tuesday's inauguration of Barack Obama.

A quick scan of my friends' facebook status messages tells me I'm one of about eight people in North America not already in D.C. for the week-long celebration, but that's OK. Me and my seven friends plan to have a great time at thestar.com.

As we've discussed before Obama is big business for newspapers everywhere, and I'm sure any newspaper publisher with any sense is already planning special editions, preparing to print extra copies, and jacking up ad rates to capitalize on what figures to be the most lucrative day of the year in this moribund industry.



The soon-to-be U.S. president has a similar effect online, where he trails only a mediocre hockey team in his ability to drive traffic to the Star's web site.

So that's where you'll find me Tuesday morning, hosting the Toronto Star's inauguration live blog and panel discussion.

While Star intern Jason Miller live blogs the festivities in DC, I'll host an ongoing online discussion involving a crew of smart and funny folks: playwright and actor Andrew Moodie, communications consultant Megan Harris, and rapper/singer/all-around musician K-OS.

Fun starts at 10 a.m. sharp, so if you're one of the few folks not there in person OR if you're the type of 21st century nerd who attends an event live then spends the entire time on your blackberry following online accounts of it, then you're welcome to join us.

As I've mentioned in this space before, I envision a day not too far in the future where as journalists our salaries and possibly our very jobs will depend how many hits stories under out by-lines generate on the company's web site. And since I'm trying to get out in front of that development, I'm reminding you guys once again that I'm a shameless click whore. So forward that link (here it is again) to as many people as you can, and join us tomorrow as we discuss and dissect one of the defining events of our generation.

PART 2: OBAMA'S SUPREME (BASKETBALL) COURT

Obamaphiles and hoop heads might want to check out the latest issue of Sports Illustrated. It contains a feature story about Mr. President and his lifelong love of hoops. I haven't read it yet but I plan to after dinner.

PART 3: ABSOLUTION...

... For anyone who feels guilty about wishing that these kids would shuffle off into oblivion:



I'm here to let you know you don't have to pretend to like those brats anymore.

It's ok to be sick of them. What you're feeling is a completely normal reaction to novelty acts who stubbornly refuse to acknowledge that their 15 minutes of fame have expired.

It's the same way we felt about Steve Urkel and Paris Hilton and anyone who has ever appeared on the MTV's The Real World.

This feeling is natural.

Don't fight it.

Embrace it.

The Singing Obama Brats need to go.

I mean, we all agree that the first song was a cute and refreshing. A buncha little black kids telling us we can vote however we like... great.

But three months later I know I'm not the only one wishing they would make like Lou Bega, Scritti Politti or any other one-hit wonder and go away.

Instead, they've stuck around and made a couple other songs, one about mosquito netting and the one posted above where they thank Obama for winning the election then bark orders at him for three minutes.

Oprah was impressed.

She donated $365,000 to their school.

Lovely.

You're paid.

Now please, go away.

But instead of disappearing they showed up on CNN last night.

Twice.

Enough.

Seriously.

You guys should have quit while you were still cute.

Your first song struck a chord, but now it's time to retire. Get to class. Study hard. Hopefully your principal spent that Oprah money on top-flight teachers and in-class technology, anything to help you get into college and find a career because your celeb days are done.

Now before you complain, I'm not a hater. Just a student of history.

Think back far enough and you'll remember a time when people didn't hate Steve Urkel, but the folks at Family Matters didn't know when to quit.

I know I'm not the only one who sees it happening here.

People who think I'm being harsh on these kids and their teacher are the same people who bought the Baha Men album. You guys are probably still waiting for Afroman's second single to drop.

Sorry guys.

There are no second-acts for one-hit wonders.

So please, while most of the public can still stomach you, disappear back into your classroom, hit the books and salvage your futures.

Seriously.

I'm sure Obama appreciates the love, but he doesn't want to see you waste your lives.